The seduction of tobacco

The first time I had a cigarette, I must have been about ten. My brother and I had snuck out a pack left over from a guest… we thought. It might have been Mom’s. It turned out, much later, that she’d been sneaking smokes on the sly for a long time. Huh.

We went out on the roof. Hey, German roofs, completely flat and pebbled. You could have had parties on them, not that they did, and not that we didn’t get scolded for the terrible imaginary danger of sneaking out on the roof. I still don’t know why you’d make houses with flat roofs in an area that gets significant snowfall. Seems like begging for the houses to collapse from the weight.

We felt very dangerous, and grown-up, and had a few puffs… and felt very sick, and foul, and managed to avoid ever getting near a cigarette again for nigh on to a decade.

I was in college before I started experimenting with them again. I remember my first one very keenly. My heart went pitty-pat, my mouth was full of garbage, and I oozed an appalling smell from every pore in my body. I reeked. I swore never to repeat that mistake.

Heh.

It takes a great deal of work to acquire a nicotine addiction, and you hate every minute of it. So, why do people do it?

I’m damned if I know.

Time was, I smoked three cigarettes a day. I figured that was moderate enough, and I was in control, and I’d certainly know I had a problem if it ever got much beyond that, and stop.

I smoke about a pack a day, these days. Oh, I’ve seen much worse– one of my bosses used to do three to five packs a day. Ouch.

He was much younger than I am, now. If I were a religious man, and unkind, I’d be praying that he was dead by now. Oh, not for smoking. He was just the most incredible asshole. Honestly, you wouldn’t believe. But, I digress.

A pack a day is not so bad, as these things go. Still, I cough a lot. I know it’s not good for my health. The nicotine doesn’t make me sweat, any more. It’s rather soothing. And the evil scent that ekes from my pores is strangely delicious.

Perhaps I’ll stop, again. I’ve done it before. It really only takes a few days of giving up one of the lights of your life… so to speak. A few days of torment as you adjust to not having your friend and constant companion. It isn’t all that difficult to get used to not smoking, after that.

Of course, once you’ve demonstrated that you can stop, and are in control… why not have a cigarette?

Y’all probably just don’t want to start down that road. It’s a bitch.

The local Circle K has a wonderful Nazi sign on display, whether as a matter of law or sicko company policy, I don’t know. It says, “Selling cigarettes to minors isn’t just immoral, it’s against the law”. I’m thinking that ought to be, “Selling cigarettes to minors isn’t immoral, it’s just against the law”.

Hey, give a kid a cig today. It’s a mean trick, but it’ll put them off smoking for a decade, with any luck. There are rare occasions when a kid has a great deal more sense than an adult.