Candygram for Mongo

I’ve stumbled on a site called hulu.com … not one of the most brilliant marketing names, is it? But it is, in fact, a resource where you can legally watch many movies and TV shows. The first I heard of it was from annoying little snippets on youtube. I ignored those. Then I ran across a mention somewhere else, where they mentioned the wonderful word, “free”… and, to be sure, “supported by advertising”.

Now, I’ve got me an ad-blocker. I didn’t expect it to actually tune out the hulu.com ads but, apparently, it does. Instead, I just get regular ads for hulu.com, with the notation that “if you keep seeing this message, you may need to turn off your ad-blocker”. Yeah, darling, like that’s ever going to happen. I’d sooner fuck without a condom. I’m not taking home any diseases, or your filthy advertising.

This company is built on some bizarre attempt to carry over 20th-century television paradigms. It’s going to die a horrible death. In the meantime, hey, take a look, and enjoy a little Internet tv. It’s mildly annoying, but it’s wholly free. And, imagine that, it’s legal.

The Libertarian Party: oh well

Before I start, may I offer my congratulations to the author of the following feedback? “Shut your mouth, you’re and idiot”, he and/or she said. Honestly, what more need I add to that? Priceless.

Mmm. Well, I’ve nominally been a member of the Libertarian Party for quite a few years. It’s the third-ranking political party in the United States but, you can readily be forgiven if you don’t know a thing about it. The Media is a bit “proactive” about squelching any related news. Oh, I suppose that sounds like another dingbat theory, if you haven’t been paying attention. Never mind, it ain’t important.

The basic idea of the Libertarian Party seems to be perceived as terribly radical, which is kind of fascinating. The notion is, “what if the government actually followed the laws it claims to be based on?” Libertarians are Constitutionalists. This is perfectly straightforward, right? Why, the Constitution is revered in America. It’s the very Founding Document.

Englitch and revolution

I’m inclined to be conservative about matters of language. Language speaks to me. That’s a joke, son, although it isn’t. LOLZ.

On the one hand, I’m horrified by the French, with their Official Bureau of What is Acceptable Language. That’s a guarantee that their language is already dead. Move along, guys, nothing to see here.

On the other, I’m horrified by the blatant degradation of English that’s been taking place. It’s really been a slap in the face (both cheeks frontal and, yes, you can turn the other cheeks and get slapped there, too). I suppose it took place a long time ago, and it’s only the Internet, what with making publishing available to everyone, that actually made it evident.

Death: End Game

I was aware of death at an early enough age. My great-grandmother died when I was, oh, must have been six or so. She was not a young woman. I was a very young man. I don’t recall much of her, but for her pale, pale skin, and blue veins, and a wonderful Christmas present of a cardboard playhouse.

She’d apparently been a bit of a devil when she was younger. My Mom recounted stories of being in the car when great-grandmama was driving. She didn’t stop at the stop signs. “The other guys will stop”, she said.

I remember a small bit from her funeral. I was being brave, and managed not to cry. Mom did. All proud of my macho stoicism, I asked her why she cried, and she said, “that’s my grandma, dear…”

Oblivion: unofficial bug fixes

Bethesda has said that they won’t release any further fixes for Oblivion, despite a great number of outstanding bugs. So, are we just screwed?

Oh, no. Between the LUA scripts that run the action, and Bethesda’s own game creation tools, it’s turned out to be quite possible to add new content… and to fix things that were broken. Bethesda may not have a notably strong commitment to quality but, it’s often possible for fans to take up where they left off.

http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Tes4Mod:Unofficial_Oblivion_Patch

Install the final official Oblivion patches, then get the unofficial patches. These rock. They will fix a great number of problems, mostly of the trivial variety, but including some that can really bite your ass.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Aardvark night at the movies

“I, Robot”, starring Will Smith. The background is an odd blend of Isaac Asimov’s old work, plus the depressing and creepy theme from Jack Williamson’s ancient novel, The Humanoids. It’s an action film, with no real thought involved, but it works well enough as a brainless summer movie. There are worse ways to pass the time. I enjoyed it.

“Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle”. This is a stoner movie. It has its high points (badump dump TSSCH!)… and a lot of places where it just drags along. To my tastes, Harold is fucking cute, which helps make up, a little, for the lame parts. Some bits are really funny. It would be nice if there were more of those.

The gay

Time was, “gay” meant “happy”. It rather disturbed a lot of people when it became slang for “vile homosexual”.

The word was reclaimed, not so long ago, so as to leave out the “vile” part. It still meant “homosexual”, to be sure.

It was a wild success in the reshaping of the English language. It was a shining beacon, a lamp to show the world. You didn’t have to run from the latest euphemism, every few years.

Englitch

I am ever disturbed at reading the English that crops up on the Internet. There are web sites that make fun of Japanese English errors, or “Engrish”. We have more than enough trouble here at home, with American English errors. Let’s call it “Englitch”.

Bubby, “shutters” is not the same as “shudders”. One goes up against the windows. One is a body movement.

There is no such word as “payed”. You’re thinking of “paid”. Do you know, that error crops up in World of Warcraft? You’d think, with an income measured in ungodly millions per year, they could hire a proofreader, or use one of those newfangled spelling checkers.

Disasters in Food: Diet Nestea

“DIET GREEN TEA with natural CITRUS FLAVOR with other natural flavors”. As Nestea puts it, “you’re probably expecting only delicious iced tea, right? Gotcha.” Oh yeah, they got that part right. Gotcha, indeed.

It’s not so much tea as a chemical version of orange juice, appallingly sweet, with a plentiful quantity of citric acid, and just the faintest hint of tea flavor in the background. A more appropriate quote would be from Douglas Adams: it tastes “almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.” It’s not just unbelievably foul, it left me feeling queasy.

Verdict: everyone associated with creating this “tea food product” should be forced to drink it for the rest of their natural lives. Or (and I’m only allowing this option for the sake of mercy) cut off one of their fingers with a meat cleaver. I’m betting the bulk of them wouldn’t last three days against the appeal of a nice, sharp cleaver.

If the creators have UNnatural lives, which seems quite likely, it’s OFF WITH THEIR HEADS and bury them at a crossroads, with garlic in their mouths and stakes through their hearts. It’s the only way to be sure.

Terrible waste of good garlic, though. Maybe a bottle of Nestea would work just as well.

The tradition of marriage

California has allowed gay marriage… for now… and, of course, there’s been an uproar. I mean, the horror! Won’t somebody please think of the children! And what about our traditions?

Yes. What about our traditions? I mean, I can see that a lot of people find a deep feeling of security in seeing that nothing ever changes, although the notion leaves me claustrophobic.

As a Christian tradition, though, marriage just isn’t about one man and one woman. It’s more a matter of one man and a group of women, or one man and his daughters– no, wait, that was just a Biblical sex scene with a holy drunken man getting his daughters pregnant. There are a lot of holy drunks in the Bible and, woo doggies, don’t they get up to some frantic antics?

Funny thing, that. I’m pretty sure if I was too drunk to recognize my own family members, I wouldn’t be able to get an erection but, I guess that’s not true if you’re holy. Shoot, the kids were probably wearing masks.