the bone museum

My folks have both been archivists, in their ways. They were or are obsessive collectors of things. Mom collected people and connections, mostly, with a side order of artifacts. Dad collects artifacts, with an extra helping of memories. He lives in a very fancy museum. Very neat. Not a place for children or pets.

It all piles together

Today, praise the Lord, my father and his wife are out of town for the weekend. I’ve walked two miles for cigarettes and hard alcohol in celebration. And, lo, these are not acceptable flat, desert miles, in the comfortable 110F sun with minimal humidity. These are up and down hills, in humidity approaching 90%.

My hideous vices: Legend of the Seeker

I hear tell that this television series was actually based on a popular run of books. Hard to imagine. I haven’t heard of the books, much less read them, so I can’t tell you whether they’ve been done an intolerable injustice by the video production. It’s about one of the most terrible things I’ve seen, derivative to the point of outright plagiarism, entirely anachronistic, and dumb as a box full of mute songbirds.

Why do I watch it? Oh, that’s simple. Craig Horner, aka “Richard Cypher” <wince>. The show is horrible. He’s fucking gorgeous, and the producers know enough to get him out of his shirt on a regular basis.

Sex sells. It’s especially important if you’re working with a show that is clearly a disaster from start to finish, which covers almost everything ever broadcast as a television series.

Rambling man

Saw my favorite green-eyed boy today. Of course, he’s actually the only green-eyed boy I’ve ever seen. Startling eyes. It’s not the weird green from tinted contacts, it’s a kind of sea-green that makes me think of romping half-naked on beaches. Well, that amongst the more printable notions.

Philip Jose Farmer has died. Probably, you’ve never heard of him. He was a bad hack science fiction writer, some decades back, who actually managed to win a writing award, for reasons that may never become clear. It’s not customary to speak ill of the dead but, honestly, what does he care? He’s dead. And he was a terrible writer, and slavishly derivative. Boot to the head!

I’ve been experimenting with Fritos a bit, lately. Corn chips with a long list of additives and, allegedly, different flavors. Well, the flavors do differ a bit, although you’d be hard-pressed to discover why by reading the ingredients list. Chili/cheese flavor? Well, there’s plenty of cheese in all Fritos, but there isn’t any mention of chili in the ingredients. Spicy hot? Odd, there are no spices in the ingredients list, although these will rasp the back of your throat. Basically, you’re looking at salt and MSG on a corn and oil base, with any of these chips, plus some mystery ingredients labeled as “natural flavoring”.

New lamps for old!

There’s a new Government initiative out, to pay people $2,000 to trade in their old cars for new ones. As you might guess, this is slanted as for the children improving the environment by getting less efficient cars off the road.

The problem with this, of course, is that my old Toyota is considerably more efficient than most of the new cars I’m seeing advertised. And it’s paid for, and running fine, and there’s no need for it to be taking up landfill space. And, hey, where is that magic $2,000 coming from? Oh, right, higher taxes. Another bad corporate bailout dressed in sheep’s clothing. As if the Government wasn’t already deeply in debt.

We bulls wobble but we don’t fall down

I remember a time in Greece, when I was young. “I don’t think I’ve tried the octopus, yet,” I said. Mom was enchanted, possibly cementing my love of trying new foods. Unbelievably hot days, pleasant nights, and the local habit of the siesta that seems to go with such places. I wonder if it would be fair to track my love of hot places to that glaring spot, with its lazy ruins and ancient culture. Sorry, I never did learn to like Ouzo. It’s one of very few liquors that I really can’t stand.

The Greeks have a dish called Dolmades which, with the right ear, you can hear to say Tomatoes. They’re various things wrapped in olive leaves but, traditionally, involving tomatoes. Can’t be exactly an ancient tradition, as tomatoes are a relatively modern import from the Americas.

Eureka – I Can’t Believe It’s Not SF

…well, ok, let’s be serious. It’s another of the oh-so-popular modern shows that pretend to be science fiction, without actually involving anything that isn’t an affront to science. What is it with these guys? They think a cheap paint job with a couple of fancy tech terms is all it takes? Seems they’re all built by ad men, who are so used to screwing around with bullshit words that they think that’s the whole of the show. Cheap bullshit.

The intro show for Eureka comes up with a major man-made disaster. Someone’s created tachyons, which don’t obey the laws of physics, thereby causing the universe to start unraveling.

Hello? Dumb shits! Last I looked, tachyons had not been shown to exist, but they’re posited as existing naturally in massive quantities… according to what we know of the laws of physics. The trick with trying to find one is, they have minimal interaction with normal matter. You might just as well have made your mcguffin the creation of the pygmy marmoset which, as we all know, would certainly cause the end of the world.

Bizarre fads in pseudo science fiction

I’ve been reviewing a variety of recent TV shows of a pseudo-science fiction nature, lately. They like to pretend to a scientific background, although they’re all mystical gibberish. They can be moderately entertaining… although… the whole idea of the genera is outstandingly icky. PSF has been popular for decades, though, and certainly hasn’t been waning.

Advertising goes bust

Did you think you considered advertising to be annoying, mindless drivel? Try abandoning TV for a few years, and then taking up some Internet replacement such as Hulu. Do these ads work on some people? In theory, they must, or why bother?

I confess, I’ve thrown out my can of Edge shaving cream. The commercial was demeaning simply to watch. And, it was an emergency can, anyway, in case I felt like shaving without taking a shower, which I never do. So much easier just to shave without cream, at the end of the shower.

The Amazing Logitech Mouse

…falls from grace.

In the beginning was the mouse. First popularized by Apple, which has sold many a million one-button rodents to customers apparently too stupid to be trusted with more; then “stolen” by Microsoft, with awkward two-button devices; and, for many years, brought to something approaching perfection by Logitech, which seemed to have some understanding of ergonomics and sturdiness.