Tiny little meatloaf

Today we have tiny little meatloaf, and hard-boiled eggs.

The meatloaf is tiny because there was only half as much ground chuck as needed for a full meatloaf but, my Dad has these ridiculous little loaf pans, and I thought it’d be worth a try. Added a bit of jalapeño this time, because I had it on hand. Should be lovely.

The eggs are for deviled eggs, tomorrow. I’m experimenting with this James Beard recipe…

In other news, I’ve picked up a copy of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. It’s not the latest version, but the price was right. What to say… well, the controls seem to have been designed by someone who’s never played a computer game before or, perhaps, has never used a computer. Space to accept? Return to quit? Fascinating.

There’s a great deal of obscenity and gratuitous violence. The missions are pretty much garbage… but you can ignore them, pretty much.

It’s fun! Knocking someone off a motorcycle, stealing it, and going screaming down the highway at a billion miles per hour, with cops in hot pursuit– if that doesn’t plaster a great big smile across your face, why, you’re almost certainly already dead.

sunshine like weak tea

The sun came out today, for a wonder. It’s been very shy for the last few weeks. It must be said that the pale thing that constitutes sunlight, in Virginia, is more of a tease than a thirst-slaker, but I’ll take anything right now. Light! Let there be light!

The haruspex alleges that tomorrow will not only be sunny but, indeed, will get up to a raucous and wild 75F. Saints preserve us.

My latest find in deviled eggs is a James Beard recipe. “Mexican” deviled eggs, he says. To my tastes, they could use rather more jalapeños, and I’m using the last of my good Mexican jalapeños here… the original recipe must have been extremely bland. I’ll see if I can’t tweak the recipe a bit. I’ve already added onions, which was The Right Thing. I’ll post a recipe when it does more than just hint that it ought to be wonderful.

I never sausage a thing

My dear old Mom, in her attempts to eat healthily according to the wisdom of the time, traded in regular hotdogs for a rather bizarre substitute made out of turkey. Lean meat, with no added fat.

A turkey dog comes with a number of built-in problems. For one, hotdogs and other sausages normally contain quite a bit of fat, which is a large part of what makes them so appealing. I’m sure you could make a good turkey sausage, with an appropriate amount of added fat but, of course, these were not them.

Mystery food

One of the large anonymous chains of overpriced restaurants has announced new appetizers, including a “southwestern eggroll”. Blink, blink.

Tempting. Guess I’ll wait until they bring out the sushi burrito and the peanut-butter-and-calimari sandwich, though.

Adventures in Food: Cheetos?!

Sabritas brand Cheetos, hmm. So Frito-Lay likes to hide its name on occasion? Who knew? Does Frito-Lay mean something perverse in Mexico?

What we’ve got here is a pack of Torciditos Salsa Roja Cheetos, or Cheetos flavored in a traditional Mexican red sauce. Well, that’s the claim. In fact, it bears no resemblance to salsa roja. You’re looking at the bog-standard “somewhat spicy with a massive amount of lime” flavoring that so overwhelms Mexican munchies. Chips, pineapples, peanuts, lollipops, lima beans, papayas– honestly, it’s weird how they go for this flavor combination. Peppers and limes are apparently suited for everything.

No joke. There’s even a seasoning shaker you can get with this combination: “Tadin Chilimon”, “chili with salt and lime”. Directions: “sprinkle Chilimon on fruit, vegetables, or your favorite foods.”

I’ve got one of those but, I must confess, I just don’t find it a flavor that is terribly compatible with most fruits, vegetables, or my favorite foods. Sometimes, now and then, but it’s a really aggressive seasoning and, if I’m looking for a flavor monster, I’d probably prefer garlic or a bit of raw onions. I do like the chilis, but the lime is a turn-off. The chili/lime mix does go well with some tangy fruits. It might zip up some of the blander kinds of fish dishes.

The Cheetos? Meh. They’re all right.

Grape Juice: high in Vitamin C. Sort of.

Commercials! A fine time to turn off the sound, take a pee break, or grab a drink. Sometimes, though, you just can’t help but catch one by accident.

Welch’s is advertising that their grape juice is high in vitamin C. This really kinda ticks me off. Is it true? Oh, sort of. Welch’s grape juice is, basically, just sugar. It’s highly refined, and has no detectable nutritional content except for a moderate amount of an added preservative: ascorbic acid, otherwise known as vitamin C.

It’s a special low in advertising when you have to advertise the preservative chemical as the chief virtue of your drink.

Taco Night

When I was young, my family would occasionally have Mexican Night. A taco dinner with all the trimmings: oven-warmed hard tacos in a pre-formed U bend, with bowls of ground beef, shredded cheddar cheese, chopped onions and tomatoes, shredded lettuce and, of course, some canned, sliced American jalapeños. Initially, those were just for my Dad. No one else would touch the spicy things, although American canned jalapeños are about the nearest thing you can get to vinegar-soaked cardboard. Barely warm, let alone firy.

The thing I find baffling, these days, is where this notion of food came from. It’s pleasant enough, and it certainly doesn’t seem very American, but it’s about as Mexican as apple pie. A real taco isn’t crunchy and doesn’t have cheese or lettuce. The chopped tomatoes and onions might be there, on the side, with cilantro, but you’d no more mix those in with the taco than you’d put salad on your steak. Beef? Maybe, but not ground beef. Possibly, a whole jalapeño on the side.

The tacos we ate were considerably less authentic than the Japanese idea of pizza, which typically includes corn.

So… where exactly did this curious recipe originate? Some corporate garden of bland mediocrity, no doubt. Perhaps the company that originally sold those bizarre, stale, crunchy tortillas with the U-bend. It’s not a question of life-destroying consequence, but… I’m curious.

I don’t know, maybe it was intended to resemble cheeseburgers. I guess it seemed like adventurous food to middle America in the 1970s.

Adventures in Food: Chile Piquin potato chips

Sabritas brand Chile Piquín potato chips. Sure enough, you’ll find piquín peppers high in the ingredients list. This is a very Mexican flavoring, with not only considerable heat but a quite strong note of limes. I’d have to say that I haven’t really come to appreciate the combination, even after some years of trying. I could do without the limes. These chips have an exceedingly powerful hot, sharp bite. I don’t expect that I’ll buy more but, they’re definitely an adventure in food.

Adventures in Food: pistachios

What? Pistachio nuts, an adventure? Well, they’re not now, are they? Not much. You can get them at the local convenience store for a dollar. And they’re probably not even dyed that weird red color, any more.

I must have been nine or ten when I had my first pistachios. Some neighbors had gone on a trip to… I don’t know. Spain? Turkey? Some place where, apparently, pistachio nuts seemed like a nice tourist gift. They sent a monstrous bag. We were eating them for weeks.

And now, you can get your fix at the local convenience store for the same price as junk-level cashews, or a few bags of peanuts. Go figure.

My Mom was born in the 1940s. She told me, once, that there was no such thing as a pizza place when she was growing up. It was, and is, an incomprehensible notion.

What wealth we have in international trade. Pizza? Old hat! Sushi? Kids today wouldn’t believe you if you said there was no such thing as a sushi place when you were growing up…

Rambling man

Saw my favorite green-eyed boy today. Of course, he’s actually the only green-eyed boy I’ve ever seen. Startling eyes. It’s not the weird green from tinted contacts, it’s a kind of sea-green that makes me think of romping half-naked on beaches. Well, that amongst the more printable notions.

Philip Jose Farmer has died. Probably, you’ve never heard of him. He was a bad hack science fiction writer, some decades back, who actually managed to win a writing award, for reasons that may never become clear. It’s not customary to speak ill of the dead but, honestly, what does he care? He’s dead. And he was a terrible writer, and slavishly derivative. Boot to the head!

I’ve been experimenting with Fritos a bit, lately. Corn chips with a long list of additives and, allegedly, different flavors. Well, the flavors do differ a bit, although you’d be hard-pressed to discover why by reading the ingredients list. Chili/cheese flavor? Well, there’s plenty of cheese in all Fritos, but there isn’t any mention of chili in the ingredients. Spicy hot? Odd, there are no spices in the ingredients list, although these will rasp the back of your throat. Basically, you’re looking at salt and MSG on a corn and oil base, with any of these chips, plus some mystery ingredients labeled as “natural flavoring”.