the things we do not mail, because we are dependent cowards

Your house. Some switches turn things on by going up, others by going down. And you have two types of switches. This is just wrong. You know it. There is a serious absence of power in the lower family room, which the existing lighting does not adequately explain, and you might wish to look into that. 600W here or there really should not be a problem. Also, xxxs/my room is extremely noisy and appears to lack insulation. There are drafts, and you can hear talking from anywhere in the house or outdoors. I can understand why he needed a white-noise generator to sleep, but that is more of a bad patch than a solution.

My behavior. Is annoying to you because it isn’t like yours. I accept that I will die, possibly sooner rather than later. I do not wish to get into confrontations about smoking (which I will do outside, if at all) or drinking (and half your wine went to vinegar a decade ago). I will replace your wine with something better. Possibly you only kept the pink champagne for giggles, anyway.

Money. You promised us both the maximum gift allowances when Mom died. Oddly, that disappeared, but you could afford a quarter of a million dollars in housing upgrades. Do you want to say anything about that?

After inviting me here, you’ve made it very clear that you’d like me gone as soon as possible. That’s inspiring enough. I am working on it. My current resume marks me as a very fine steamboat mechanic but, I will ask xxx about being a waiter. It’s a functional job and generally available, as I understand it.

the bone museum

My folks have both been archivists, in their ways. They were or are obsessive collectors of things. Mom collected people and connections, mostly, with a side order of artifacts. Dad collects artifacts, with an extra helping of memories. He lives in a very fancy museum. Very neat. Not a place for children or pets.

twitches in advertising

Hulu has been running advertising in web versions of TV shows, in a probably confused attempt to employ antiquated revenue streams for new media.

This results in traditional horrors, such as the Intel series of commercials, which repeat and repeat the same old drones about how creative and innovative they are, and end in a nauseating group harmony where everyone is chanting to the corporate beat. Ant music, indeed. You can hear the larvae squirm.

More interestingly, it has also created a new Visa credit card commercial: this program sponsored by Visa, with no further commercial interruption. Lord knows why Visa would think anyone else would ever need to hear about it again in the first place but, for a commercial-free program, we bless you.

the wee tv review

What’s up? Oh, that’s easy. Nothing is up. Lots are going down.

Bones. Oh, Bones is staying. Probably. It’s grown repetitive, it’s formulaic, and it’s jumped the shark about three times now, which is amazing. Look at that motorcycle! …but I like it. Sure doesn’t hurt to have an attractive male lead, but I like the show. I confess, the female lead is also incredibly compelling. She’s autistic, basically. I know exactly what she feels, if “feels” is the right word, and good lord she plays the role perfectly.

It all piles together

Today, praise the Lord, my father and his wife are out of town for the weekend. I’ve walked two miles for cigarettes and hard alcohol in celebration. And, lo, these are not acceptable flat, desert miles, in the comfortable 110F sun with minimal humidity. These are up and down hills, in humidity approaching 90%.

Tiny little meatloaf

Today we have tiny little meatloaf, and hard-boiled eggs.

The meatloaf is tiny because there was only half as much ground chuck as needed for a full meatloaf but, my Dad has these ridiculous little loaf pans, and I thought it’d be worth a try. Added a bit of jalapeño this time, because I had it on hand. Should be lovely.

The eggs are for deviled eggs, tomorrow. I’m experimenting with this James Beard recipe…

In other news, I’ve picked up a copy of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. It’s not the latest version, but the price was right. What to say… well, the controls seem to have been designed by someone who’s never played a computer game before or, perhaps, has never used a computer. Space to accept? Return to quit? Fascinating.

There’s a great deal of obscenity and gratuitous violence. The missions are pretty much garbage… but you can ignore them, pretty much.

It’s fun! Knocking someone off a motorcycle, stealing it, and going screaming down the highway at a billion miles per hour, with cops in hot pursuit– if that doesn’t plaster a great big smile across your face, why, you’re almost certainly already dead.

Sunny day chasin’ our cares away

They say- and they’ve lied before- but they say it will get up to 78F today. Almost like real weather. Going to see if I can’t absorb some of this misty vapor they call sunshine out here.

All hail the sun god
sure is a fun god
Ra! Ra! Ra!

The Soviet Experience of the Community College

In order to make myself more generally marketable in my field, I am attempting to take some courses at my local community college. It is turning out to be somewhat of a surreal experience. They are noticeably less efficient than the local DMV, and it is often quite a guessing game as to what they have in mind.

To apply to this college, you must enter an application by computer. This application then must be printed out and taken to the college administrative office which, after making you wait indefinitely for a clerk, will ignore the mandatory print-out and go directly to the computer application. In the event that there is any error in the application, you must fill out a new one at the computer, and print it out, and get back in line.

sunshine like weak tea

The sun came out today, for a wonder. It’s been very shy for the last few weeks. It must be said that the pale thing that constitutes sunlight, in Virginia, is more of a tease than a thirst-slaker, but I’ll take anything right now. Light! Let there be light!

The haruspex alleges that tomorrow will not only be sunny but, indeed, will get up to a raucous and wild 75F. Saints preserve us.

My latest find in deviled eggs is a James Beard recipe. “Mexican” deviled eggs, he says. To my tastes, they could use rather more jalapeños, and I’m using the last of my good Mexican jalapeños here… the original recipe must have been extremely bland. I’ll see if I can’t tweak the recipe a bit. I’ve already added onions, which was The Right Thing. I’ll post a recipe when it does more than just hint that it ought to be wonderful.

The spring was gray and everlasting

Well, pardon me, but this is no Phoenix. It’s chilly and raining again. The region is thinking of Spring but, not with any great focus or enthusiasm.

The equally dismal economy is, for a wonder, actually affecting me for once. My career specialties are a bit obscure and, to some extent, dated. I’ll be taking classes to brush up a bit.

A significant portion of the available jobs requires SQL, a tedious and powerful (indeed, powerfully tedious) database management language, so that will be a useful emergency option to have at my disposal. Filthy business, though. Database programming smells of mildew and mothballs. It degrades the soul.

In the meantime, it’s all about eBay sales and small-time consulting contracts. It’s a living. Sort of. Barely.